The Book of Dog Shit
Interpreted by Osiris Ranebo, Rev. Guido DeLuxe and Igon Snow -=- October 15, 1980 - August 15, 1984
Jogging Dog Shit
- Even dog shit has joined the jogging fad. To test the effects of jogging and high shit diets on heart problems, a group of Arizona state dogs decided to use dog shit, since it is said to have psychological characteristics that resemble those of humans, such as susceptibility to stress. The goal of the dog shit is two miles a day. However not all 18 turds in the study jog. Six just eat and sleep dog shit fashion. Six others started jogging when they were chiclets. And six more started jogging when they reached the weight of 150 pounds. As for the jogging dog shit, Rossonsaul says: "They burn up for about the first lap. After that, most of them need some LSD," This is given by prodding them, occasionally, with a long, two-pronged hypodermic needle. Another reason why dog shit was chosen for the jogging study is, as assistant professor of agriculture Georerich says: "We can be fairly sure someone is going to invite our dog shit out to steal a pizza in the middle of the road." Preliminary findings are that the jogging dog shit appears to have more energy and to have a more contented disposition.
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