The Holy Tinite Ritual of Pumpkin Sacrifice
By Rev. Guido S. DeLuxe
© 1991 by The Church of Tina Chopp - Chopptower Publications

     The Ritual of Pumpkin Sacrifice has been carried out in an official capacity only twice since the original founding of The Church of Tina Chopp, but the significance of the ritual is only heightened by it's repetition. (editor's note: This was written in 1991. Since that time, many Public Sacrifice Ceremonies have been held in the manner described in this article) The sacrifice is a solemn, yet joyful and energizing ritual which may be participated in by Tinites as well as those who do not recognize Tina. Anti-Tinites, of course, are welcome, but their presence and/or participation in rituals of Vegetable Sacrifice may be a hinderance to the spiritual development of the Tinites present. It is advisable to use caution and good judgement when inviting anti-Tinites to ritual Vegetable Sacrifices. The meaning of such rituals is immediately evident to all those who participate in the ritual.

Two High Priests and a Low Priest
Two High Priests and a Low Priest
     The first Ritual of Pumpkin Sacrifice took place in November, 1990 and the second took place in March, 1991. Both sacrifices were performed with the aid of the observation tower at the top of Sehome Hill in the sacred city of Bellingham, birthplace of The Church. On the first occasion, the High Priests of Tina, having sacrificed The Holy Vegetable in the usual manner, proceded to carry the pumpkin, which weighed about twenty pounds, from the Temple of Tina in Normidia (the sacred country of Tinites, which surrounds and actually comprises the dweelling places of the High Priests, wherever that may be) to the site of the ritual. With accompanying pomp and more Holy Vegetable Sacrifice, the pumpkin was escorted to the top of the tower where it was blessed with the Smoke of the Holy Vegetable and then solemnly dropped over the edge of the tower. The falling of the pumpkin was accompanied by cries of "Hail Tina!" from the participants and the High Priests, and the pumpkin landed with a resounding splat. Thereupon the High Priests descended the tower and examined the remains of the pumpkin to determine if Tina had any significant, prophetic messages for the Church indicated by the position of the pumpkin's entrails. The obvious message conveyed by the first pumpkin sacrifice was this: Make this ritual a tradition.

     So, when Tina magically delivered three pumpkins to the High Priest Osiris Ranebo, the obvious response was to have another Ritual Pumpkin Sacrifice. The first ritual had been accompanied by the Holy Camera of Tina (wielded by myself). so we felt obligated to bring it along for the second ritual, as a means of recording these historic, and perhaps world-changing rituals for the enjoyment and education of Tinites worldwide. The second Ritual Pumpkin Sacrifice, as I have said, involved three pumpkins and was performed by two High Priests. As before, the pumpkins were blessed in the Smoke of the Holy Vegetable before their descent from the tower. This time, since there were three pumpkins, we were able to get a number of pictures from different angles, showing the progression of the ritual more clearly.

     The first pumpkin landed several yards from the foot of the tower, and the following two pumpkins landed in a more-or-less straight line which ran diagonally from its end point (the first pumpkin) towards the northwest corner of the tower. The pumpkins used in the second ritual were (I would guess) approximately six months old, and had spent most of the winter outside, well protected from the copious rainfall which graces our beautiful Pacific Northewest year-round, so that they were slightly dry and wilted, rather than being the firm, round, fresh pumpkins that one is so accustomed to seeing in the fall. This actually afforded us the opportunity to sacrifice one of the pumpkins twice, because upon its first descent we were surprised to notice that the pumpkin had not splattered at all but remained more-or-less in one piece. This, of course, was a prime opportunity to expand the photo shoot and gave us a more complete sequential set of photos depicting the actual ritual. Several of the photos from both the first and second ritual are included with this article. After the ritual, a Pumpkin Sacrifice Memorial was created which read "We High Priests of Tina Chopp did sacrifice a Pumpkin on this spot, 6:00 pm 901106, 910410 - 3 Pumpkins." Since the most recent ceremony, the Memorial has been rudely painted over by anti-Tinites, most likely jocks. But the spirit of the Sacrifice lives on!

     We encourage Tinites everywhere to imitate and/or create their own Rituals of Vegetable Sacrifice in whatever way they may choose to do so. The plans for the next officially sanctioned Public Ritual Vegetable Sacrifice (Holy Vegetable Sacrifice, of course, is a daily obligation), hope to includes coconuts, canaloupes and possibly a watermelon. After examining the remains of the ritually sacrificed vegetables for prophetic messages from Tina it is advisable to dispose of the remains in an ecologically sound fashion. If your ritual is carried out in secret, the purpose of disposing of the remains is to prevent anti-Tinites from finding out about and possibly disrupting future sacrifices. With organic substances (like vegetables) disposal is not difficult because of the inherent biodegradability of their makeup; just throw them into the undergrowth. Besides that, if you leave seeds in the area the possibility is increased that next year you will have a wild crop of pumpkins (or whatever, with the obvious exception of coconuts) with which you may continue your rituals in the future.
three pumpkins
This ritual is of obvious significance and importance to the study of Snake Destiny because of Tina's insistence upon recieving sacrificial vegetables as a part of regular worship. If she is not appeased with an appropriate amount of vegetables (including The Holy Vegetable) who knows what might happen!? Look what happened to San Francisco when the people there allowed the jocks to take over and rule the city! The High Priests of Tina Chopp strongly recommend that any Tinite who has not done so already, should immediately commence the regular sacrifice of vegetables to appease our Saviour, The Holy Snake and His Mother, the omnipotent Tina Chopp. Of course, if the ritual sacrifice is performed correctly, the remains of the sacrificed vegetables can be eaten, but this is not necessary to complete the ritual. Tinites performing such rituals are encouraged to elaborate and create their own significant parts of the ritual, to "customize" the ritual to suit whatever vegetable might be sacrificed, and to suit the setting or placement of the actual ritual itself.
A suggestion if you live in a city or an apartment building: Fire escapes frequently are built in such a way so as to make it possible to drop things several stories into alleys or even, more conveniently, dumpsters (if you do not plan to eat the vegetable after sacrifice). If it is not possible to drop the sacrificial vegetable from a great height, of course, it is necessary to find some way to expose the vegetable's entrails for the ritual examination. If a knife is used for this purpose, the entrails might not get sufficiently scattered around to produce an accurate prophetic reading, but you should be able to make do if nothing else is available. Another option, lacking a great height from which to drop vegetables, might be to use soft vegetables like papayas or avocados, stand on your kitchen table and drop the vegetables to the floor. This may or may not work to spread the vegetable entrails around enough to provide space for prophetic reading, I have not tried it, but it sounds like it would work. Play with it and come up with your own ideas. If you come up with any really good ideas please send them to The Church of Tina Chopp, attention Rev. Guido DeLuxe, so that I might be able to provide future updates and a compendium of ideas. Also, Tinites participating in sacrifices of large vegetables (like pumpkins) are encouraged to take pictures if possible. If you are able to take pictures, please send us copies of them so that we can publish them too. If you feel inspired to write about your vegetable sacrifice experiences send that in as well. Anything having to do with ritual vegetable sacrifice would be greatly appreciated and probably published, so send it in! Send it in! Send it in! Send it in! Send it in!!!!!!! I'm having an acid flashback!!

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