The Tinite Ritual of Snake Fondling

Snakes by M. C. Escher

     One of the primary rituals used in the worship of Tina Chopp is the Ritual of Snake Fondling. This is done in honor of Tina's Son, Ebeneezer Squeezer, who is also known as the Snake of Snake Destiny, The Holy Snake, and (more affectionately) Ebbers. The Church of Tina Chopp encourages all people who are interested in learning more about Tina to observe snakes, fondle snakes and listen to what they have to tell you concerning Tina.

     If you are afraid of snakes, or if you live in an area where snakes are uncommon, The Church suggests that male people have a snake attached to their body, and that fondling such a snake is a way of combining the rituals of Snake Fondling and Bizarre Sex. If you are a female person we suggest you inquire of any local male person you think might be interested in sharing this ritual with you. Frequently, male people are quite willing to share with those who are not similarly endowed.

     The Books of Tina contain much information about Ebbers and the ritual of Snake Fondling, but to save time (for those of you who do not have enough patience to read The Books of Tina we would like to give you some more information about snakes and what they like.

bleahThe Cult of The Great Serpent probably don't realize it, but they are Tinites by default!
bleahThe Church of Tina Chopp in Indonesia recently acquired a pair of adult Komodo Dragons.
bleahHerp Dealers' List is a large source of information about where to obtain a large variety of different reptiles and amphibians.
bleahSnakes and Reptiles is a nice, colorful page with pretty pictures and lots of links to places with much more information about snakes.
bleahSlither contains information about reptiles and amphibians with an emphasis on boas and pythons.
bleahTrendy's House of Herpetology contains information on care, conservation and biology of reptiles and amphibians.
bleahAn Alta Vista search for "SNAKE" will give you a lot more interesting information about snakes.

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