Ebeneezer Squeezer
The Holy Snake

     Of course, The Prophets were quite surprised by this message, but by carefully observing The Snake as he crawled around their apartment and especially as He ate His weekly gerbil, they discovered that The Snake was communicating quite a complex message to them, giving them very specific instructions in the worship of His Mother, Tina Chopp.

A Diagram of The Seventh Floor Apartment
     As The Prophets learned more of the important message of Tina Chopp from their slithery pet they began, under Ebbers' personal supervision, to compile huge quantites of strange scribblings and bizarre images, and, following the direct command of The Son of Tina, they begain to assemble The Books of Tina Chopp, the message of the Holy Tina and Her Snake to the world in need of Vegetables. The original writings are still in existence, however they are practically illegible because of the fact that they were written hastily during the first Vegetable Sacrifices and during ritual Snake Fondlings (The Prophets had not yet learned about Bizarre Sex).

     After The Prophets had a fairly firm grasp on their sacred task, Ebbers decided that it was time for Him to perform The Service which was the entire reason He had been sent to earth by Tina. The fact that He had come in contact with, and contributed to the enlightenment of The Prophets was entirely secondary to The Reason that Tina had sent Him to earth to begin with. That Service was to plant The Seed of Vegetable Sacrifice and to reap the harvest of eternal Safeway and to return with that harvest to Tina's home, Planet X-38 so that the earth would no longer be plagued by evil discochicks, jocks and rent-a-cop demons.

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Vincent Flanders hates this line