Ebeneezer Squeezer was a Rosy Boa Constrictor who was originally introduced to The Prophets of The Church of Tina Chopp by the Prophet Ian, who had been his caretaker since some unknown time in the past. At the time, the Prophet Ian had been living in a disgusting hovel with no heat and faulty plumbing. It was the dead of winter in Bellingham and Ebeneezer (hereinafter known as "Ebbers"), being a tropical snake, wasn't doing too well. He developed a lung infection which, as snakes only have one functional lung, turned into a life threatening illness. In desperation the Prophet Ian begged the Prophets of Tina to take Ebbers into their care, since they lived in a place which had reliable plumbing and heat. Of course, being benevolent people in general, The Prophets agreed and Ebbers came to live with them on The Seventh Floor.|
Of course, in the warm, nurturing environment provided by The Prophets (who didn't yet know that they were Prophets), Ebbers recovered and thrived, quickly becoming close friends with his new caretakers, who allowed him to crawl around their apartment unfettered. The Prophets were quite surprised when they returned from class one day and discovered Ebbers crawling all over the kitchen floor in a very interesting pattern, over and over again. Upon closer examination, The Prophets discovered that this wasn't just an interesting pattern; that in fact The Snake was spelling out words on their kitchen floor. Words which would forever alter their destiny. The words which were being spelled out on their kitchen floor by Ebeneezer Squeezer, a snake, were these: TINA CHOPP IS GOD! PRAISE HER OR DIE!!
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