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RITUAL VEGETABLE SACRIFICE |
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WHAT TO EXPECT
- The beautiful, remote scenery of the Cascade Mountain Range near Snoqualmie Pass in King County, Washington, approximately 30 miles east of Seattle.
- A rugged uphill hike approximately three quarters of a mile up a creek bed to the top of the Change Creek bridge (or the appropriate mountain bike ride from either the west or the east along the trail, but we don't currently have a directions for that option).
- An elaborate ritual involving one, and possibly several (depending on your participation) large vegetables (usually pumpkins or watermelon) being thrown from the top of the bridge.
- Weird philosophical rantings.
- The option to participate in the weird philosophical rantings and sacrifice your own vegetable! Yes! This does mean that you can bring your own vegetable! Please do so.
- A circular reading which has no meaning whatsoever, and we like it that way.
- The company of several members of an extremely strange church performing an ancient traditional ritual which was taught to them by a boa-constrictor.
- A gathering of interesting, diverse, open-minded, light hearted people whose desire is nothing more than to have a nice day out, enjoy themselves, and to release a little of that pent-up stress we all develop as a result of living in this society. (Note for the extremely dense: This means if you are truly offended by The Church of Tina Chopp, please stay away. We don't disturb your rituals, so please respect ours. If you don't like us, please leave us alone. We're asking nicely now. If you show up and try to disturb our ritual we might not be so nice.)
The general public is encouraged to participate in the ceremony by bringing their own vegetables to sacrifice. Church supplied vegetables have always tended towards large, voluminous vegetables capable of making a big splat, such as watermelon, pumpkins and other types of melons and squash. Publically donated vegetables have ranged from carrots, peas, beans and parsnips through coconuts and even included a container of spinach-dip. The Church encourages creativity; bring what you like and, as long as it's not blatantly, obviously not of vegetable origin (such as a beef tongue or the neighbor's yappy little mutt), there's a good chance that it can be judged an appropriate sacrificial victim by the Church Authorities who will be present. Some Tinites have desired to eat the victim after it has been sacrificed, to which The Church's response has generally been "Do what you like, we don't care."
We will meet at the parking area below the bridge, discuss the ritual and the approximately half-mile hike up the hill to the bridge, and leave for the bridge when we're confident everyone has arrived. The ritual will commence upon arrival of a majority of the assembled at the top of the bridge, or whever they want to be.
